Hi, I'm John. I boss robots around.
I come to small businesses anywhere in Maryland and DC (I'm based in Glen Arm), set up AI assistants and automations, train the owner and team, and keep it all running. Clanker.today is also where I write down what actually works and what it actually costs.
Why "clanker"?
"Clanker" is internet slang for a robot. I think AI is genuinely useful for a running store, a roofer, or a short-sale office, but I also think it's a little ridiculous. So the robots are clankers, and they do the chores.
What I do
Almost every small-business owner I know doesn't have time to learn something like this and do the trial and error to make it work. So I do it for them. I show up in person, learn how the business actually runs, set up Grok Bot assistants (inbox triage, follow-up drafts, daily summaries), AI phone answering, CRMs and the automations that connect it all. Then I train the owner and team, and I stick around for support.
Right now that's Steve at Run Moore in Westminster and Becca at Capital Short Sale Group in White Marsh (see clients).
A little background
I've spent about ten years in crypto, so I've seen plenty of hype cycles. That's why every price on this site has a source link and a date. If a tool isn't worth it, I'll say so.
Say hi
If you're local, I'm happy to come by, grab a coffee and look at your busiest week. Start with a free 20-min chat or send me a note →